Sins of Tube NG Posters & Their Fines (Humor)
Question:
A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related Newsgroups, and their Fines: – Reusing old line cord on vintage piece to save money: $15 – Reusing old line cord to increase profit on piece to sell: $30 – Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75 – Putting WD-40 on anything: $50 – Putting Armor-All on anything: $200 or value of the piece, whichever is greater – Being the first poster replying to a serious question, and using idle chatter or non-answer as reply to ruin thread: $150 – Asking about a problem you don’t have yet with your radio/amp: $5 – Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10 – Asking about a problem with a radio or amp you have no intention of getting: $25 – Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15 – Continually reminding everyone else to use an isolation transformer: $150 – Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325 – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp to lower the bids so you can win it: $100 – Posting good jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 credit in fine kitty – Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200 – Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40 – Agreeing with everyone else in the thread: $80 – Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100 – Agreeing with village idiot: $300 – Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 credit in fine kitty – Failing and creating a garbage thread: $200 – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, first offense: $50 – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, second offense: $500 – Telling people they can find tube data, part or schematic on website that comes up in the first 10 listings of common search engine: $150 – Telling people same for second 10 and other multiples of 10 such search engine listings, up to 100: $150 minus $15 for each additional 10 listing pages beyond the first required to see the listing; – Telling people they can find special tube data, part or schematic on web page over 100 listings down in common search engine when used by intelligent person: $20 credit in fine kitty – Buying test equipment you don’t know how to use: $10 – Telling others to buy test equipment you don’t know how to use: $100 – Cooking your own test equipment with stupid mistake and making believe you are still using it in posts: $25 – Cooking someone else’s test equipment and making believe you didn’t: $250 – Warning everyone that working on tube chassis is dangerous, 3rd offense: $85 – Promoting your business in help posts: $10 – Not promoting your business in help posts: $20 – Asking "What is the best (radio, amp, string, effect) for ME" or its equivalent: $50 – Answering it: $75 – Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90 – Answering it: $180 – Giving pro advice to hobbyist: $20 – Giving hobbyist advice to pro: $100 – Having the last word in a thread where the issue is already resolved by someone else: $60 – Having the last word in a thread where you yourself have already resolved the issue: $120 – Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50 – Posting to complain about obscenties in posts: $250 – Using bad grammar: $25 – Using perfect grammar: $75 – Praising vendor poster more than twice for one purchase: $40 – Failing to praise vendor poster for helpful product or service: $80 – Praising vendor poster with no purchase: $160 – Dissing vendor poster with no purchase: $320 – Repeating book, magazine or website published myth about tubes, amps or radios: $10 – $200 depending upon author, magazine or website myth repeated, insanity defense admissable for first offense only – Posting about how to connect speakers to amp: $125 – Posting about how to connect amp to speakers: $250 – Posting about how to connect guitar to amp: $500 – Posting about how to wire speaker cabs that contain speakers with impedance ratings that are even multiples of 4: $600 – Asking what tweed amp kit to build: $75 – Telling someone what tweed amp kit to build: $150 – Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater – Asking: "Why does my amp/radio have 60 cycle hum?": $75 – Answering it: $150 – Making sock puppet post: $40 – Answering one: $80 – Making suck-up post about expert: $60 – Making expert post about suck-up: $120 – Posing as tech: (fine under discussion view possible decimation of newsgroups) – Posing as political expert: (see above) – Posing as designer: all fines waived & $3,000 credit toward mental health institution admission fee – Posing as engineer: no fine possible because no one knows what an engineer is – Posing as musician: $350 and must demonstrate working knowledge of at least 2 modes without using blues or pentatonic scale before reposting – Posing as vendor: $200 + free working sample of product claimed to be dealt to everyone who responded to the thread in which it was claimed, with free shipping – Dissing another’s F/S post price because it is too high: $50 – Dissing another’s F/S post price because yours is cheaper/better but you won’t sell it for less: $150 – Dissing another’s F/S post because you don’t want someone ELSE to buy it: $300 – Arguing with railers for more than one post: $10 – Railing with arguers for more than one post: $20 – Railing & arguing with yourself: $40 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is good: $50 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is bad: $100 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is imbecilic: $300 – Posting link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: $15 – Posting dead link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: $30 – Posting good link to myth answer in lieu of original thought or answer: $45 – Posting to let everyone know you just played a gig: $50 – Posting to lie to everyone that you just played a gig: $100 – Posting at 3:30AM because you did so much dope at a gig you can’t sleep: $200 – Posts about grinding wrenches or grinding with wenches that complain about either one fitting right: $25 per post – Recommending 560 watt tube bass amp to beginner looking for versatile guitar rig: $40 – Getting him to buy it: $2,500 credit – Getting him to buy it with the 3 necessary cabs, van and hand trucks: $2,500 credit is suspended and guilty poster sends every other poster who didn’t try to talk him out of it a matched pair of GE 6550A’s and two precooked lobsters
Response:
A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related Newsgroups, and their Fines: – Reusing old line cord on vintage piece to save money: $15 – Reusing old line cord to increase profit on piece to sell: $30 – Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75 – Putting WD-40 on anything: $50 – Putting Armor-All on anything: $200 or value of the piece, whichever is greater – Being the first poster replying to a serious question, and using idle chatter or non-answer as reply to ruin thread: $150 – Asking about a problem you don’t have yet with your radio/amp: $5 – Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10 – Asking about a problem with a radio or amp you have no intention of getting: $25 – Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15 – Continually reminding everyone else to use an isolation transformer: $150 – Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325 – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp to lower the bids so you can win it: $100 – Posting good jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 credit in fine kitty – Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200 – Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40 – Agreeing with everyone else in the thread: $80 – Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100 – Agreeing with village idiot: $300 – Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 credit in fine kitty – Failing above and creating a garbage thread: $200 – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, first offense: $50 – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, second offense: $500 – Telling people they can find tube data, part or schematic on website that comes up in the first 10 listings of common search engine: $150 – Telling people same for second 10 and other multiples of 10 such search engine listings, up to 100: $150 minus $15 for each additional 10 listing pages beyond the first required to see the listing; – Telling people they can find special tube data, part or schematic on web page over 100 listings down in common search engine when used by intelligent person: $20 credit in fine kitty – Buying test equipment you don’t know how to use: $10 – Telling others to buy test equipment you don’t know how to use: $100 – Cooking your own test equipment with stupid mistake and making believe you are still using it in posts: $25 – Cooking someone else’s test equipment and making believe you didn’t: $250 – Warning everyone that working on tube chassis is dangerous, 3rd offense: $85 – Promoting your business in help posts: $10 – Not promoting your business in help posts: $20 – Asking "What is the best (radio, amp, string, effect) for ME" or its equivalent: $50 – Answering it: $75 – Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90 – Answering it: $180 – Giving pro advice to hobbyist: $20 – Giving hobbyist advice to pro: $100 – Having the last word in a thread where the issue is already resolved by someone else: $60 – Having the last word in a thread where you yourself have already resolved the issue: $120 – Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50 – Posting to complain about obscenties in posts: $250 – Using bad grammar: $25 – Using perfect grammar: $75 – Praising vendor poster more than twice for one purchase: $40 – Failing to praise vendor poster for helpful product or service: $80 – Praising vendor poster with no purchase: $160 – Dissing vendor poster with no purchase: $320 – Repeating book, magazine or website published myth about tubes, amps or radios: $10 – $200 depending upon author, magazine or website myth repeated, insanity defense admissable for first offense only – Posting about how to connect speakers to amp: $125 – Posting about how to connect amp to speakers: $250 – Posting about how to connect guitar to amp: $500 – Posting about how to wire speaker cabs that contain speakers with impedance ratings that are even multiples of 4: $600 – Asking what tweed amp kit to build: $75 – Telling someone what tweed amp kit to build: $150 – Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater – Asking: "Why does my amp/radio have 60 cycle hum?": $75 – Answering it: $150 – Making sock puppet post: $40 – Answering one: $80 – Making suck-up post about expert: $60 – Making expert post about suck-up: $120 – Posing as tech: (fine under discussion view possible decimation of newsgroups) – Posing as political expert: (see above) – Posing as designer: all fines waived & $3,000 credit toward mental health institution admission fee – Posing as engineer: no fine possible because no one knows what an engineer is – Posing as musician: $350 and must demonstrate working knowledge of at least 2 modes without using blues or pentatonic scale before reposting – Posing as vendor: $200 + free working sample of product claimed to be dealt to everyone who responded to the thread in which it was claimed, with free shipping – Dissing another’s F/S post price because it is too high: $50 – Dissing another’s F/S post price because yours is cheaper/better but you won’t sell it for less: $150 – Dissing another’s F/S post because you don’t want someone ELSE to buy it: $300 – Arguing with railers for more than one post: $10 – Railing with arguers for more than one post: $20 – Railing & arguing with yourself: $40 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is good: $50 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is bad: $100 – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is imbecilic: $300 – Posting link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: $15 – Posting dead link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: $30 – Posting good link to myth answer in lieu of original thought or answer: $45 – Posting to let everyone know you just played a gig: $50 – Posting to lie to everyone that you just played a gig: $100 – Posting at 3:30AM because you did so much dope at a gig you can’t sleep: $200 – Posts about grinding wrenches or grinding with wenches that complain about either one fitting right: $25 per post – Recommending 560 watt tube bass amp to beginner looking for versatile guitar rig: $40 – Getting him to buy it: $2,500 credit – Getting him to buy it with the 3 necessary cabs, van and hand trucks: $2,500 credit is suspended and guilty poster sends every other poster who didn’t try to talk him out of it a matched pair of GE 6550A’s and two precooked lobsters
Response:
> A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related > Newsgroups, and their Fines:
- Double posting to thread you started : $20.
Response:
Don’t worry, I am already in hock for about 3 grand. :-)
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related >Newsgroups, and their Fines: >- Reusing old line cord on vintage piece to save money: $15 >- Reusing old line cord to increase profit on piece to sell: $30 >- Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75 >- Putting WD-40 on anything: $50 >- Putting Armor-All on anything: $200 or value of the piece, whichever >is greater >- Being the first poster replying to a serious question, and using idle >chatter or non-answer as reply to ruin thread: $150 >- Asking about a problem you don’t have yet with your radio/amp: $5 >- Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10 >- Asking about a problem with a radio or amp you have no intention of >getting: $25 >- Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15 >- Continually reminding everyone else to use an isolation transformer: >$150 >- Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325 >- Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 >- Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp to lower the bids so you >can win it: $100 >- Posting good jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 credit in fine kitty >- Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200 >- Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40 >- Agreeing with everyone else in the thread: $80 >- Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100 >- Agreeing with village idiot: $300 >- Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 >credit in fine kitty >- Failing and creating a garbage thread: $200 >- Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, >first offense: $50 >- Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, >second offense: $500 >- Telling people they can find tube data, part or schematic on website >that comes up in the first 10 listings of common search engine: $150 >- Telling people same for second 10 and other multiples of 10 such >search engine listings, up to 100: $150 minus $15 for each additional >10 listing pages beyond the first required to see the listing; >- Telling people they can find special tube data, part or schematic on >web page over 100 listings down in common search engine when used by >intelligent person: $20 credit in fine kitty >- Buying test equipment you don’t know how to use: $10 >- Telling others to buy test equipment you don’t know how to use: $100 >- Cooking your own test equipment with stupid mistake and making >believe you are still using it in posts: $25 >- Cooking someone else’s test equipment and making believe you didn’t: >$250 >- Warning everyone that working on tube chassis is dangerous, 3rd >offense: $85 >- Promoting your business in help posts: $10 >- Not promoting your business in help posts: $20 >- Asking "What is the best (radio, amp, string, effect) for ME" or its >equivalent: $50 >- Answering it: $75 >- Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) >ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90 >- Answering it: $180 >- Giving pro advice to hobbyist: $20 >- Giving hobbyist advice to pro: $100 >- Having the last word in a thread where the issue is already resolved >by someone else: $60 >- Having the last word in a thread where you yourself have already >resolved the issue: $120 >- Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50 >- Posting to complain about obscenties in posts: $250 >- Using bad grammar: $25 >- Using perfect grammar: $75 >- Praising vendor poster more than twice for one purchase: $40 >- Failing to praise vendor poster for helpful product or service: $80 >- Praising vendor poster with no purchase: $160 >- Dissing vendor poster with no purchase: $320
Do you accept credit cards? And, can I run a tab? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->- Repeating book, magazine or website published myth about tubes, amps >or radios: $10 – $200 depending upon author, magazine or website myth >repeated, insanity defense admissable for first offense only >- Posting about how to connect speakers to amp: $125 >- Posting about how to connect amp to speakers: $250 >- Posting about how to connect guitar to amp: $500 >- Posting about how to wire speaker cabs that contain speakers with >impedance ratings that are even multiples of 4: $600 >- Asking what tweed amp kit to build: $75 >- Telling someone what tweed amp kit to build: $150 >- Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new >fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater >- Asking: "Why does my amp/radio have 60 cycle hum?": $75 >- Answering it: $150 >- Making sock puppet post: $40 >- Answering one: $80 >- Making suck-up post about expert: $60 >- Making expert post about suck-up: $120 >- Posing as tech: (fine under discussion view possible decimation of >newsgroups) >- Posing as political expert: (see above) >- Posing as designer: all fines waived & $3,000 credit toward mental >health institution admission fee >- Posing as engineer: no fine possible because no one knows what an >engineer is >- Posing as musician: $350 and must demonstrate working knowledge of >at least 2 modes without using blues or pentatonic scale before >reposting >- Posing as vendor: $200 + free working sample of product claimed to >be dealt to everyone who responded to the thread in which it was >claimed, with free shipping >- Dissing another’s F/S post price because it is too high: $50 >- Dissing another’s F/S post price because yours is cheaper/better but >you won’t sell it for less: $150 >- Dissing another’s F/S post because you don’t want someone ELSE to buy >it: $300 >- Arguing with railers for more than one post: $10 >- Railing with arguers for more than one post: $20 >- Railing & arguing with yourself: $40 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is good: >$50 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is bad: >$100 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is >imbecilic: $300 >- Posting link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: > $15 >- Posting dead link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight >answer: $30 >- Posting good link to myth answer in lieu of original thought or >answer: $45 >- Posting to let everyone know you just played a gig: $50 >- Posting to lie to everyone that you just played a gig: $100 >- Posting at 3:30AM because you did so much dope at a gig you can’t >sleep: $200 >- Posts about grinding wrenches or grinding with wenches that complain >about either one fitting right: $25 per post >- Recommending 560 watt tube bass amp to beginner looking for versatile >guitar rig: $40 >- Getting him to buy it: $2,500 credit >- Getting him to buy it with the 3 necessary cabs, van and hand trucks: > $2,500 credit is suspended and guilty poster sends every other poster >who didn’t try to talk him out of it a matched pair of GE 6550A’s and >two precooked lobsters
Ken Wilson Amer. Dlx. Tele, Gary Moore LP, LP DC Classic w/P90s, Jeff Beck Strat, Morgan OM Acoustic, Rick 360/12, Std. Strat (MIM), Mesa 100 Nomad, Mesa F-30 "Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are."
Response:
Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me to decimate. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related >Newsgroups, and their Fines: >- Reusing old line cord on vintage piece to save money: $15 >- Reusing old line cord to increase profit on piece to sell: $30 >- Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75 >- Putting WD-40 on anything: $50 >- Putting Armor-All on anything: $200 or value of the piece, whichever >is greater >- Being the first poster replying to a serious question, and using idle >chatter or non-answer as reply to ruin thread: $150 >- Asking about a problem you don’t have yet with your radio/amp: $5 >- Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10 >- Asking about a problem with a radio or amp you have no intention of >getting: $25 >- Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15 >- Continually reminding everyone else to use an isolation transformer: >$150 >- Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325 >- Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 >- Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp to lower the bids so you >can win it: $100 >- Posting good jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 credit in fine kitty >- Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200 >- Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40 >- Agreeing with everyone else in the thread: $80 >- Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100 >- Agreeing with village idiot: $300 >- Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 >credit in fine kitty >- Failing and creating a garbage thread: $200 >- Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, >first offense: $50 >- Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, >second offense: $500 >- Telling people they can find tube data, part or schematic on website >that comes up in the first 10 listings of common search engine: $150 >- Telling people same for second 10 and other multiples of 10 such >search engine listings, up to 100: $150 minus $15 for each additional >10 listing pages beyond the first required to see the listing; >- Telling people they can find special tube data, part or schematic on >web page over 100 listings down in common search engine when used by >intelligent person: $20 credit in fine kitty >- Buying test equipment you don’t know how to use: $10 >- Telling others to buy test equipment you don’t know how to use: $100 >- Cooking your own test equipment with stupid mistake and making >believe you are still using it in posts: $25 >- Cooking someone else’s test equipment and making believe you didn’t: >$250 >- Warning everyone that working on tube chassis is dangerous, 3rd >offense: $85 >- Promoting your business in help posts: $10 >- Not promoting your business in help posts: $20 >- Asking "What is the best (radio, amp, string, effect) for ME" or its >equivalent: $50 >- Answering it: $75 >- Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) >ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90 >- Answering it: $180 >- Giving pro advice to hobbyist: $20 >- Giving hobbyist advice to pro: $100 >- Having the last word in a thread where the issue is already resolved >by someone else: $60 >- Having the last word in a thread where you yourself have already >resolved the issue: $120 >- Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50 >- Posting to complain about obscenties in posts: $250 >- Using bad grammar: $25 >- Using perfect grammar: $75 >- Praising vendor poster more than twice for one purchase: $40 >- Failing to praise vendor poster for helpful product or service: $80 >- Praising vendor poster with no purchase: $160 >- Dissing vendor poster with no purchase: $320 > Do you accept credit cards? And, can I run a tab? >- Repeating book, magazine or website published myth about tubes, amps >or radios: $10 – $200 depending upon author, magazine or website myth >repeated, insanity defense admissable for first offense only >- Posting about how to connect speakers to amp: $125 >- Posting about how to connect amp to speakers: $250 >- Posting about how to connect guitar to amp: $500 >- Posting about how to wire speaker cabs that contain speakers with >impedance ratings that are even multiples of 4: $600 >- Asking what tweed amp kit to build: $75 >- Telling someone what tweed amp kit to build: $150 >- Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new >fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater >- Asking: "Why does my amp/radio have 60 cycle hum?": $75 >- Answering it: $150 >- Making sock puppet post: $40 >- Answering one: $80 >- Making suck-up post about expert: $60 >- Making expert post about suck-up: $120 >- Posing as tech: (fine under discussion view possible decimation of >newsgroups) >- Posing as political expert: (see above) >- Posing as designer: all fines waived & $3,000 credit toward mental >health institution admission fee >- Posing as engineer: no fine possible because no one knows what an >engineer is >- Posing as musician: $350 and must demonstrate working knowledge of >at least 2 modes without using blues or pentatonic scale before >reposting >- Posing as vendor: $200 + free working sample of product claimed to >be dealt to everyone who responded to the thread in which it was >claimed, with free shipping >- Dissing another’s F/S post price because it is too high: $50 >- Dissing another’s F/S post price because yours is cheaper/better but >you won’t sell it for less: $150 >- Dissing another’s F/S post because you don’t want someone ELSE to buy >it: $300 >- Arguing with railers for more than one post: $10 >- Railing with arguers for more than one post: $20 >- Railing & arguing with yourself: $40 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is good: >$50 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is bad: >$100 >- Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is >imbecilic: $300 >- Posting link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: >$15 >- Posting dead link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight >answer: $30 >- Posting good link to myth answer in lieu of original thought or >answer: $45 >- Posting to let everyone know you just played a gig: $50 >- Posting to lie to everyone that you just played a gig: $100 >- Posting at 3:30AM because you did so much dope at a gig you can’t >sleep: $200 >- Posts about grinding wrenches or grinding with wenches that complain >about either one fitting right: $25 per post >- Recommending 560 watt tube bass amp to beginner looking for versatile >guitar rig: $40 >- Getting him to buy it: $2,500 credit >- Getting him to buy it with the 3 necessary cabs, van and hand trucks: >$2,500 credit is suspended and guilty poster sends every other poster >who didn’t try to talk him out of it a matched pair of GE 6550A’s and >two precooked lobsters > Ken Wilson > Amer. Dlx. Tele, Gary Moore LP, LP DC Classic w/P90s, > Jeff Beck Strat, Morgan OM Acoustic, > Rick 360/12, Std. Strat (MIM), Mesa 100 Nomad, > Mesa F-30 > "Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are."
Response:
> Don’t worry, I am already in hock for about 3 grand. :-)
I was about to say–you must owe a huge frigging fortune! (And don’t say, "Not as much as you." Neener, neener.) –E
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related > Newsgroups, and their Fines: > – Reusing old line cord on vintage piece to save money: $15 > – Reusing old line cord to increase profit on piece to sell: $30 > – Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75 > – Putting WD-40 on anything: $50 > – Putting Armor-All on anything: $200 or value of the piece, whichever > is greater > – Being the first poster replying to a serious question, and using idle > chatter or non-answer as reply to ruin thread: $150 > – Asking about a problem you don’t have yet with your radio/amp: $5 > – Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10 > – Asking about a problem with a radio or amp you have no intention of > getting: $25 > – Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15 > – Continually reminding everyone else to use an isolation transformer: > $150 > – Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325 > – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 > – Posting bad jokes about eBay radio or amp to lower the bids so you > can win it: $100 > – Posting good jokes about eBay radio or amp: $20 credit in fine kitty > – Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200 > – Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40 > – Agreeing with everyone else in the thread: $80 > – Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100 > – Agreeing with village idiot: $300 > – Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 > credit in fine kitty > – Failing and creating a garbage thread: $200 > – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, > first offense: $50 > – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, > second offense: $500 > – Telling people they can find tube data, part or schematic on website > that comes up in the first 10 listings of common search engine: $150 > – Telling people same for second 10 and other multiples of 10 such > search engine listings, up to 100: $150 minus $15 for each additional > 10 listing pages beyond the first required to see the listing; > – Telling people they can find special tube data, part or schematic on > web page over 100 listings down in common search engine when used by > intelligent person: $20 credit in fine kitty > – Buying test equipment you don’t know how to use: $10 > – Telling others to buy test equipment you don’t know how to use: $100 > – Cooking your own test equipment with stupid mistake and making > believe you are still using it in posts: $25 > – Cooking someone else’s test equipment and making believe you didn’t: > $250 > – Warning everyone that working on tube chassis is dangerous, 3rd > offense: $85 > – Promoting your business in help posts: $10 > – Not promoting your business in help posts: $20 > – Asking "What is the best (radio, amp, string, effect) for ME" or its > equivalent: $50 > – Answering it: $75 > – Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) > ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90 > – Answering it: $180 > – Giving pro advice to hobbyist: $20 > – Giving hobbyist advice to pro: $100 > – Having the last word in a thread where the issue is already resolved > by someone else: $60 > – Having the last word in a thread where you yourself have already > resolved the issue: $120 > – Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50 > – Posting to complain about obscenties in posts: $250 > – Using bad grammar: $25 > – Using perfect grammar: $75 > – Praising vendor poster more than twice for one purchase: $40 > – Failing to praise vendor poster for helpful product or service: $80 > – Praising vendor poster with no purchase: $160 > – Dissing vendor poster with no purchase: $320 > – Repeating book, magazine or website published myth about tubes, amps > or radios: $10 – $200 depending upon author, magazine or website myth > repeated, insanity defense admissable for first offense only > – Posting about how to connect speakers to amp: $125 > – Posting about how to connect amp to speakers: $250 > – Posting about how to connect guitar to amp: $500 > – Posting about how to wire speaker cabs that contain speakers with > impedance ratings that are even multiples of 4: $600 > – Asking what tweed amp kit to build: $75 > – Telling someone what tweed amp kit to build: $150 > – Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new > fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater > – Asking: "Why does my amp/radio have 60 cycle hum?": $75 > – Answering it: $150 > – Making sock puppet post: $40 > – Answering one: $80 > – Making suck-up post about expert: $60 > – Making expert post about suck-up: $120 > – Posing as tech: (fine under discussion view possible decimation of > newsgroups) > – Posing as political expert: (see above) > – Posing as designer: all fines waived & $3,000 credit toward mental > health institution admission fee > – Posing as engineer: no fine possible because no one knows what an > engineer is > – Posing as musician: $350 and must demonstrate working knowledge of > at least 2 modes without using blues or pentatonic scale before > reposting > – Posing as vendor: $200 + free working sample of product claimed to > be dealt to everyone who responded to the thread in which it was > claimed, with free shipping > – Dissing another’s F/S post price because it is too high: $50 > – Dissing another’s F/S post price because yours is cheaper/better but > you won’t sell it for less: $150 > – Dissing another’s F/S post because you don’t want someone ELSE to buy > it: $300 > – Arguing with railers for more than one post: $10 > – Railing with arguers for more than one post: $20 > – Railing & arguing with yourself: $40 > – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is good: > $50 > – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is bad: > $100 > – Posting audio link in discussion group to show your playing is > imbecilic: $300 > – Posting link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight answer: > $15 > – Posting dead link as reply in lieu of original thought or straight > answer: $30 > – Posting good link to myth answer in lieu of original thought or > answer: $45 > – Posting to let everyone know you just played a gig: $50 > – Posting to lie to everyone that you just played a gig: $100 > – Posting at 3:30AM because you did so much dope at a gig you can’t > sleep: $200 > – Posts about grinding wrenches or grinding with wenches that complain > about either one fitting right: $25 per post > – Recommending 560 watt tube bass amp to beginner looking for versatile > guitar rig: $40 > – Getting him to buy it: $2,500 credit > – Getting him to buy it with the 3 necessary cabs, van and hand trucks: > $2,500 credit is suspended and guilty poster sends every other poster > who didn’t try to talk him out of it a matched pair of GE 6550A’s and > two precooked lobsters
What’s the deal on Tranny Toaster Posts. <ducking flying objects> Regards, Rich Koerner, Time Electronics. http://www.timeelect.com Specialists in Live Sound FOH Engineering, Music & Studio Production, Vintage Instruments, and Tube Amplifiers
Response:
>Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me >to decimate.
Decimate?? Sheesh, Mule…..ironically, the one person who had "the goods" on you – and some of the best responses to you – no longer has newsgroup access (damn AOL, eh?) But here’s a golden oldie from Doug -LOL Newsgroups: alt.guitar.amps <<Mark V. Mulay: CONTINUE to find a new low here, Doggy Brokenfarte, the four-year-old (emotionally) illiterate wrench. Does that Doggy "MAKE HIMSELF CLEAR"?! Ack ack ack . >> Mark, you still living on Moulton Parkway? Still playing at Martini Blues, Tumbleweeds in HB? Wife still a school teacher, which I hear brings home all the bread? Still having troubles in your salers career? Would you like me to go even further? You should stop now. I have no more intrest in reading your garbage posts defaming me and my Co. anymore. If you persist, I’ll go even further, and it won’t be pretty. Think before you post any further.
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D amaged G oods
: >Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me to decimate. > Decimate?? > I *loved* Doug Roccaforte you mean man. We’re CHRISTIANS, REPUBLICANS and "The Good Guys". Oh, I hate you I hate you I hate you.
PS: I googled: "Roccaforte Up Your Ass #20". Now YOU know why he’s the MAN!
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>>Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me >to decimate. >Decimate??
Only in what passes for its mind, Ben, maximum delusion. Tepid Pilot
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A fine assessment of this NG if ever there was one.
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> A List of the Most Common Sins Committed by Posters to the Tube-Related > Newsgroups, and their Fines: > – Aligning radio or setting amp bias by ear: $75
but isn’t it just a little like wine tasting ? <G> > – Putting WD-40 on anything: $50
anything except Aussie Phil… <G> > – Asking about a problem with a radio/amp you don’t have yet: $10
but then the dream dies….<G> > – Forgetting to use isolation transformer on bench: $15
isn’t this essentially, over time, self-correcting ? <G> > – Posting about using a Variac to reform caps: $325
—more wine tasting? <G> > – Giving expert advice about a problem you’ve never seen: $200
but that’s really difficult and requires much skill….<G> > – Disagreeing with everyone else in the thread: $40
much easier…<G> > – Kicking around village idiot using cruelty: $100
as the village idiot on occasion, I think this one is *much* too low <G> > – Trying to help village idiot without making garbage thread: $50 > credit in fine kitty
and much appreciated BTW…. > – Telling people looking for parts that they can buy them from AES, > first offense: $50
but what about the kickback from AES you get? you do get one don’t you…<G> > – Asking: "What was the best series of Fender amp (or Zenith radio) > ever made" or its near-equivalent: $90
but I think the late 50’s Zeniths are without question the zenith of the art….<G> > – Typing more than 2 obscentities in one post: $50
wow, then the sheer weight of AGA would drop dramatically… <G> > – Using bad grammar: $25
no way….<G> > – Using perfect grammar: $75
way no way….<G> > – Posting that amp or radio keeps blowing repeatedly-inserted new > fuses: $750 or market worth of radio/amp, whichever is greater
as the Doc said, "Then quit doing that!" <G> > – Railing & arguing with yourself: $40
happens way more than it used to…<G> wait…what happens….? oh never mind! Walt Campbell Campbell Sound http://www.campbellsound.com/
Response:
> >Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me >to decimate. > Decimate?? > Sheesh, Mule…..ironically, the one person who had "the goods" on you > – and some of the best responses to you – no longer has newsgroup > access (damn AOL, eh?)
That’s a really ignorant, and lame excuse. You can post via google if your ISP doesn’t have NG access. Besides, Marc spanked the living crap out of Dougie so many times he probably STILL can’t sit at a computer. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> But here’s a golden oldie from Doug -LOL > Newsgroups: alt.guitar.amps > <<Mark V. Mulay: > CONTINUE to find a new low here, Doggy Brokenfarte, the four-year-old > (emotionally) illiterate wrench. Does that Doggy "MAKE HIMSELF > CLEAR"?! Ack ack ack > . >> > Mark, you still living on Moulton Parkway? Still playing at Martini > Blues, Tumbleweeds in HB? Wife still a school teacher, which I hear > brings home all the bread? Still having troubles in your salers > career? Would you like me to go even further? You should stop now. > I have no more intrest in reading your garbage posts defaming me and > my Co. anymore. If you persist, I’ll go even further, and it won’t be > pretty. Think before you post any further.
Hmmm, a threat to ‘go even further’, from October 2003? Hope his lawyer isn’t working by the hour! : ) cheers… HJA
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me to decimate. >Decimate?? > Only in what your case, DG, maximum defication. > Tepid Pilot <—-i.e. newsdawg.com…..why WHO could i be? 
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>Here’s $10 million, pre-paid. Go find a better class of assholes for me to decimate.
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Howard- Let Devin continue to pound his chest in mourning. Clearly he was *irreversibly* traumatized while I twisted ‘ol "Up Yer Ass #20" into so many stomach knots he abandoned all prudence Devin can’t stop his tactic, despite the hilarity at his expense mvm – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > That’s a really ignorant, and lame excuse. You can post via google if your ISP doesn’t have NG access. > Besides, Marc spanked the living crap out of Dougie so many times he probably STILL can’t sit at a computer. > Hmmm, a threat to ‘go even further’, from October 2003? Hope his lawyer isn’t working by the hour! : ) > cheers… > HJA
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